Argylle

Available on Apple TV+

It increasingly feels like the future of cinema - and perhaps culture in general - will be determined by the winner of an existential power struggle between conservators and well-heeled investors. In filmic terms, the most common identity of the latter has been streaming services, a status quo which has yielded inconsistent results at best. Considered in this context, Argylle offers a sneak peek of the worst-case scenario for cinema’s future landscape.

That’s because Matthew Vaughn and Jason Fuchs’ yarn is essentially a case study of the sort of unimaginative filmmaking content creation that cinephiles fear will eventually become the norm. Picked up by Apple for the frankly ludicrous sum of $200 million, it is yet another example of lackadaisical franchising that makes absolutely no attempt to provide its audience with even a modicum of originality, instead assuming that an ensemble cast of disinterested stars will be enough to sustain attention.

Given Argylle’s headache-inducing use of CGI and appalling dialogue, the fact that its star-studded cast collectively delivers career-worst performances is neither here nor there. Ultimately, this is just what happens when studios adopt a paint-by-numbers approach to filmmaking and prioritise profits over artistry.